Surviving the Frigid Ice Water

Sundays have always been a time to rest, reflect, and prepare for the upcoming week. After five days of going full throttle at school, then a Saturday spent doing household chores, shopping, and paying bills, Sundays were reserved for spiritual fulfillment and family time. Life was good. We were happy, and teaching was rewarding.

I am not sure when it happened, but Sundays changed. They gradually became less fulfilling and more anxiety ridden. As the amount of work I had to on Sunday to prepare for the coming week increased, my desire to do it decreased. I started to resent the fact that I have to work so much on the week-ends, so I would stubbornly refuse to do the prep work then find myself at work on Monday unprepared and even more pissed off. Scrambling to catch up all day Monday kept me from doing the best job I could do teaching the kids.

Every Friday, I plan to be smarter this week-end than I was the week before. I vow to get all my prep work done in advance so I will not be trapped into just getting by on Monday. It has been several months now that I have been playing this game. I am beginning to fear that I will never again be able to be competent and efficient. Every Monday morning it feels like I am being forced to jump into a pool of ice water. The problem with that is too damn cold and I do not even hit the bottom of the pool until about Tuesday evening. Once I hit the bottom, I am able to kick off and slowly ascend through Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, I finally get to crawl out of the frigid water. I wrap myself in a warm blanket, but it is never much comfort knowing that in just two short days, I must go back in.