For New Year's Eve, I have put together a list of things that really made me say, "WTF" this last year. I hope you will shake your head with me as you read.
10. During some of our get to know you activities
the first week of school, I found out that two of the freshman girls already
were mothers. And that each of their babies was already a year old.
9. A student said, “WTF” out
loud then everyone’s head whipped around to see if I had heard him. I told them
I knew what that meant, and there was nothing wrong with saying it. “Welcome to
Facebook, right?” I asked them with a smile.
8. During our third week of
school, one of my students stopped what she was doing in the middle of class,
looked around my science lab, and asked me, “Biology, this is a science class
right?
7. In one class where we are
particularly bombarded by some freshmen jocks who are still out to prove
themselves on a daily basis, I also have a handful of sweet darling girls who
want to do the right thing and be successful. I almost never hear from the
girls because the boys are always attention seeking and usually rude to boot.
While I was talking to the class one day, I was telling the girls to be
patient. Gradually the boys would stop all the nonsense. A nice quiet girl who
was especially fed up asked me out loud, “What’s the school appropriate word
for asshole?” She was horrified at what she said. It was all I could do not to burst out
laughing.
6. I have the biggest crush on Johnny
Depp. When the girls talk about him, they always want to tell me how hot he is.
I tell them he is Mr. Holkiss’ age, nearly 50, and they about faint. They just
cannot believe that. And I laugh!
5. There was one student who
asked me every day whether or not I had a pencil sharpener. During the fifth week of school, the other students forbid him to ask me that question anymore.
He is having no trouble finding it now.
4. My Environmental Systems
class is made up of seniors. We made posters to hang in the halls about
conservation of resources. One kid made a poster that said, “Save water, shower with
me.” I found it taken off the wall, folded up, and stuck in my mailbox. I’m not
sure who the offended party was. I may never know.
3. One really ornery freshman
boy took a great interest in my guppy tank. There are tons of little fish in
there. I had no idea he was stealing one fish a day and doing gross stuff with
them in the lunchroom until a little girl told me. After that I did not allow
him to play with the fish anymore. A few days later, the student who sits in
his chair the class after his opened their shared textbook to find a dead fish waiting
there for him. I wrote him up for animal cruelty and property destruction and
he requested a schedule change.
2. First week with freshmen
this year, one precocious young man shouted out, “What does ‘choke the chicken’
mean?” How do you keep a straight face. Luckily for me, it is an old phrase, so
many of the kids did not know what it meant. I just said it is a euphemism that
we don’t use in Mrs. H’s class then got back to business lickety split! An
innocent little girl asked, “What’s a euphemism.” Oh boy!
1. We had just finished
learning about the different types of sexual reproduction that take place in
the animal kingdom, including my favorite, the slugs, that both have penises
and sperm receiving tissue. When the union is successful, the product glows in
the dark. I had a boy freshman ask me how can you tell when a human female has
an orgasm. I told him to ask his mother, but wanted to tell him that he would
never REALLY know for sure! Ha!
