The Good Stuff

They just hired two new employees at my campus to replace people who left their posts in the middle of the year. Both jobs were filled by former students who graduated from our high school, then went to college, and are now returning back to us as grown-ups. It is one of the rare gems of enjoyment in the world of education. We enjoy seeing how they have changed. The cocky, rebellious teenager who knows everything transforms into a professional adult, but it happens out of our sight so it appears to happen overnight.

It was just a few short years ago when one of these young women was standing on our football field as part of the Homecoming Court. She was always a fun, pretty gal who lit up any room she was in. Eight years later she is a super stylish, smart woman who is an LSSP and works with our special education population. When she speaks, there is no trace of the drama-loving gum smacker she used to be.

The other one had the most beautiful dark brown curly hair and a huge heart. She was one of those people who was kind to the core and always stood up for others. She is still the same inside, but her outside is barely recognizable. Her hair is now smoothed into submission, and in contrast to the jeans and t-shirts she used to wear, her gorgeous business clothes hang from her cute frame perfectly. She is very confident, and rightly so, but she is also very humble. Our school is lucky to have her on staff.

It is ironic that we so often hear how much the students wish to leave and never come back, but lots of them come back. When they go out into the world and come back with some experience, it's a joy to behold. It's the good stuff.

Surviving the Frigid Ice Water

Sundays have always been a time to rest, reflect, and prepare for the upcoming week. After five days of going full throttle at school, then a Saturday spent doing household chores, shopping, and paying bills, Sundays were reserved for spiritual fulfillment and family time. Life was good. We were happy, and teaching was rewarding.

I am not sure when it happened, but Sundays changed. They gradually became less fulfilling and more anxiety ridden. As the amount of work I had to on Sunday to prepare for the coming week increased, my desire to do it decreased. I started to resent the fact that I have to work so much on the week-ends, so I would stubbornly refuse to do the prep work then find myself at work on Monday unprepared and even more pissed off. Scrambling to catch up all day Monday kept me from doing the best job I could do teaching the kids.

Every Friday, I plan to be smarter this week-end than I was the week before. I vow to get all my prep work done in advance so I will not be trapped into just getting by on Monday. It has been several months now that I have been playing this game. I am beginning to fear that I will never again be able to be competent and efficient. Every Monday morning it feels like I am being forced to jump into a pool of ice water. The problem with that is too damn cold and I do not even hit the bottom of the pool until about Tuesday evening. Once I hit the bottom, I am able to kick off and slowly ascend through Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday, I finally get to crawl out of the frigid water. I wrap myself in a warm blanket, but it is never much comfort knowing that in just two short days, I must go back in.

Let's Settle This Like Monkeys!

During a lesson in my Environmental Systems class which is full of seniors, our focus was on varying species of primates. We studied the similarities and differences between the way they obtain food, their physical features, their temperaments, their social organization, and their territories. It was quite a fun discussion and the video I was showing was pretty interesting.

We learned about one of the tiniest primates in the world, the mouse lemur which is a little bitty fella about three and a half inches long and only weighing about an ounce. We talked about capuchins, apes, baboons, macaques, and gibbons. One of my favorite primates is the orangutan. It is so fun to watch the videos of them swinging in the trees with their babies.

We were particularly interested in their environment and how they maintained it by teaching their young to get food. By fighting other groups from their same species to protect their area or gain new territory. The beautiful red-faced monkeys in Japan who live where it is very cold use a warm water source to prevent freezing. We watched them fight for their place in the life-saving pool, and thought it was sad when the weaker individuals froze to death.

All of the primates we looked at solved their disputes by fighting. Chimpanzees were surprisingly violent and the students were disgusted to find out that they sometimes cannibalize the losers. And then came the bonobo! Students learned about this chimpanzee-like species and the very unique way they have of running their society. They solve everything peacefully. They do not fight. Instead, they have sex. They have sex to resolve conflict, to show affection, and for social status. They have sex when they are excited and for stress reduction. The sex involves lots of different partner combinations and a variety of positions. If an outsider wants to join their group, they submit sexually right away, and then they are able to share resources and space with them peacefully.

Well, let's just put it this way. My students were very motivated to use this highly sophisticated method of social management. And now, in my room whenever there is the least little bit of a confrontation or hurt feelings, my students tell each other, "Hey! Let's solve this like monkeys!"

Public Schools Kicking Teachers to the Curb

Calling All Good Teachers
Resignation Incentive. That's what my district and many others across the country are calling their latest attempts to save money at the expense of good effective teaching and learning. They want anyone who has been teaching long enough to be really good at it to quit and make room for some cheaper first year teachers to take their places. Now, do not get me wrong, I LOVE first year teachers. I was one. I understand them and their job.

This program is not just a RETIREMENT incentive which does have some great advantages. Those advantages include allowing teachers who want to retire, but cannot afford it to retire with dignity. It prevents some of the bad teaching that happens when an old teacher who no longer relates to the students is forced to keep working to hit the magic number of years plus experience that unlocks retirement. I have seen some of those people spend the last few years doing some real damage to students. This is an unfortunate situation, but who is to blame? The teacher cannot retire until she is able to collect her retirement income. Quitting before that would leave some of them homeless and destitute. Most students do not care at all that the old teachers are trapped into working past their prime. They just gang up on them like a bunch of piranhas, bragging about the shenanigans they pulled in the classroom behind the teacher's back. Sometimes they even post videos to the internet!

Don't Let the Door Hit Ya!
This is an incentive to RESIGN. Just go away! You are free to look for a job someplace else, but you may not work for our district for one year, with the exception of being a substitute teacher. That is okay because they need good subs, and subs get very little compensation compared to full-time teachers and no benefits. This is the how they will calculate our incentive amount.

District shall pay Employee a resignation incentive

payment in accordance with the following sliding scale:

1 - 5 years of employment = 8% of current annual salary;
6- 10 years of employment = 12% of current annual salary;
11-15 years of employment = 15% of current annual salary;
16-20 years of employment = 18% of current annual salary;
21-25 years of employment = 20% of current annual salary;
26-30 years of employment = 22% of current annual salary;
30+ years of employment = 25% of current annual salary

So what this boils down to is first year teachers can get a couple of thousand dollars to quit. The first year is the most difficult. It is the year you learn how to juggle. It is a very frustrating year, but when you return for your second year, the difference is remarkable. You have had an opportunity to make some mistakes, figure out what works and what doesn't. You have had time to reflect and adjust mentally and academically. The second year you are more confident, more relaxed, more willing to move on to the third year. The third year is when you really start to rock! At year five, you are a valuable addition to the faculty.

Teachers at Their Peaks

The period of time between years six and 20 is when the magic happens. This is when teachers reach their peaks. When they are able to not only juggle, but to dance and smile while they are passing their content and life lessons on to the next generation. They join decision-making committees, advocate for their students, they seek each day an opportunity to change a life for the better. It is absolutely enthralling to experience this in action.

But my district wants to pay master teachers a few thousand dollars to leave, so they can fill the spot with a first year teacher who is in survival mode. The new teacher needs help getting and keeping her balls in the air. Teaching is not common knowledge. It cannot be taught in college. This important help ideally comes from generous master teachers who share their expertise. These are the people who encourage the overwhelmed newcomer when they break down crying and are convinced by November that they have chosen the wrong career.

When Back to School Stops Being a Good Idea

Beyond the 20-year mark, things are different for different people. Being a good teacher hi-jacks your whole body, mind, and spirit. And this gets tiring. Summertime is healing and reinvigorating. Every year teachers cheerfully come back for more until they reach a point where they start to return in August without the expected renewed sense of purpose. This happens at different times for different people. When this starts happening, this is the ideal time for people to leave the profession. That would keep only strong and mentally healthy teachers in the classroom. But that is not always what happens. Some people stay too long at the party because they have to. And offering them a few thousand dollars to quit will not help them leave. It only makes them bitter because they really wish they could take the money and run. 

A Lifetime of Experience and Devotion

And then, there is a group of people who are awe-inspiring. These are the ones who could leave if they wanted to, but they STILL LOVE IT every single day for DECADES! The incentive will not affect their decision to stay. They are the superhero level master teachers who are so very important to their peers, bosses, and most importantly the students. But my district, along with many other districts across the country, are trying to force these education gurus to retire because they have been teaching 30 years and make about $60,000 per year. This reminds me of the old saying that husbands used to say to their wives, "When you turn 40, I'm trading you in for two 20-year-olds." Except this is much worse, because it is not a joke. It's the future of our education culture. It's our children who will suffer. And when our children suffer, our whole nation suffers.

Welcome to Spring Semester 2013

Yesterday was my first day back after Christmas break. It was a staff development day. We were bounced around the building from room to room so we could learn some stuff. It was a great opportunity to catch up with one another. Several of us had the flu, one woman had her mother die and her granddaughter be born at the same time, and one of us had a massive heart attack. He's in really bad shape in the hospital still and will be for the foreseeable future. The rest of us were incredulous. It really put our stress from going back to work in perspective.

So with lighter hearts than usual, we got ready for the students to return. Today they reluctantly came back to school. We had a pretty normal day. As my list of things to do quickly grows, by keeping my eye on the prize, I believe I will be able to stress less whether or not I am able to get it all done. The prize is the graduation ceremony on May 31. Today I had genuine smiles for the students. It was a nice launch to what promises to be a very busy spring semester.

One Doozy of a Teacher's Nightmare!

This morning I woke up from another one of those dreaded teacher dreams. The bell rang, but I couldn't find my schedule. Kids started coming in the room. I was trying to tell by the way they looked which class it was. Of course, in my dream there are four or five doors to my room, so the students are not coming in and sitting down, they just keep going in one door and out the other. They aren't even looking at me. I try to speak, but I have no voice. My lesson plan book is blank, not a word on it, even though I know I wrote them. My teacher friend next door lets me look at her papers. I realize that I have to teach five classes in a row without a break. That makes me furious because my room is so far from the restroom. Who would schedule me like that? (My real schedule is nothing like that.)

As the day goes on, my room fills up with water. Yes, water. I do not know why, it just does. The students are swimming around and I cannot get them to pay attention. My boss comes in and wants to know just what in the Sam Hill I am allowing to happen. I try explain to him that I cannot stop the water from coming in, and ask him to help me, but my mouth is completely full of bubble gum. He gets on his radio and calls the cops. The police show up and start arresting kids for swimming without permission. While this is going on, a little girl brings me a litter of puppies that were just born that need to be cleaned up. They are struggling to breathe, so I stop what I am doing and start trying to save the puppies. 

I have often wondered, do other professionals dream the same weird stuff? Do dentists dream that they cannot pull out a tooth? Do football players dream that they keep dropping the ball? Do nurses dream that they cannot get a needle through someone's skin? These are things that perplex me. 

This Teacher's New Year's Resolutions 2013

I had planned to write this before now, but I have had the flu. Spending valuable school holidays being sick is the ultimate in cruelty of the universe. I have to use every single one of my days off to rebuild the courage and positive energy necessary to return to class on Monday. If I am forced to be sick during those days, it further depletes my energy stores. I do not usually get the flu. I am one of those fools who believes she does not ever need a flu shot. Never even think about it. But our darling little grandson is in kindergarten this year, and he brought it to us for Christmas. Then on the Today Show this morning, I find out that it's an especially bad flu season this year. Isn't that just great?

So now I look ahead at 2013 and ponder what it is that I would like to accomplish. What would I like to see happen? Well, this is an unusual year for me since I'm quitting my job in May. My resolutions are shorter term in nature than usual. They are like what can I do to make the next few months the least bit more tolerable? So here they are:

1. Keep up the happy teacher facade during class. Just so my two worst classes will not try to take credit for making me quit. Always makes me furious when students brag about a certain teacher they "ran off". Plus these little darlings can be quite trying at times, but they are rarely ever the reason teachers leave. We leave because the structure of public school operating alongside parents who threaten to sue at the drop of a hat makes us either quit or, even worse, keep teaching and no longer caring.

2. Take up singing or humming in the classroom. I get so tired of hearing inappropriate language from the students. Before the tardy bell rings and during transitions, they talk to each other. They talk loud enough for anyone around them to hear them. When I call them out for their language, they get defensive. Have you ever tried to prove that someone said something in a room full of people talking? Since you have to pick the fights you can win, this is one I try to ignore. I believe that if I'm humming or singing, it will be much more pleasant for me. Since I cannot carry a tune in a bag, it will not be pleasant for the students. Bonus!

3. Avoid impromptu visits in the halls with administrators. These visits were something I have always loved to do. Before the students arrived or during my conference, running into one of them and asking for their advice or permission to do something was one way I could get immediate feedback on my ideas. But this has changed. Now it always ends with them repeating the same old standardized testing jargon and buzz words. If they do care about real classroom learning, you would never know by listening to them talk. So I will resort to following advice I was given by a veteran teacher a long time ago, "It is easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission." Ain't it true?

4. Use my resources as they are. Normally, I get my resources and materials out, then find something I want to use, but find things wrong with it. So I have to edit it, or update it, or recreate it from scratch. I vow not to spend hours and hours every week doing this. I will give the students the resources the way I find them, no matter what. I have heard people say that the kids will not care whether their materials are perfect or not. I never wanted to believe it, but I guess we will find out.

5. Avoid the copy room during school hours. For years I have been using copiers that jam at least a couple of times during any copy job. Unjamming them is no easy feat. These things are sophisticated computers that give you instructions on how to unjam them, and if you do not follow them exactly, it will not unjam, and you will not get your copies made, and you will get furious. We are instructed not to leave our paper jams for other people to fix. So we are pressured to get it done even though it may take half an hour or more. When the bell rings, we have to get to class. That is not optional. So sometimes we have to leave our jams for others to find. So I will vow to only make copies late in the afternoon after everyone has gone home, or on weekends. Sometime when hours stretch out in front of me with no immediate plans. That should work. There's nothing more fulfilling than spending your weekends in the copy room!

Alrighty then, that should get me started on my path to a less stressed new year. Wish me luck!